woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
