The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
