Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
