You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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