My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
