I puked a lego.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
so much tequila, so little girl.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
