he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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