Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
