so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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