you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
