It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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