i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
