is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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