I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
