Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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