sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
