I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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