How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
