I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
