I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
