dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
