listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
