Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
