That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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