just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
