How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
