Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she told me i tasted like america
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
