That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
