Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
