she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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