Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish I could teleport
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
