I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
