I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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