I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
