Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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