dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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