her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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