Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
