if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
