me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
