Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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