But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
