Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
