I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
