This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
