i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
