I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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