Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
