..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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