oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
