According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
